ashesandghostff

 In your own space, share a book/song/movie/tv show/fanwork/etc that changed your life. Something that impacted on your consciousness in a way that left its mark on your soul. 

This one was a tough one for me. At the risk of being irritatingly indecisive, I'm going to have to share two. Both are critically important to who I am today, for entirely different reasons.

The first is the book that shaped my childhood, my imagination, my personality, my sense of humor, and my aesthetics.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll.

I cannot remember a time in my life when I didn't know this story back to front and upside down. It's probably one of the first books my mom read to me, and it's definitely one of the first novels I read for myself. It's because of this book that i value imagination, wordplay, creativity, and daydreaming to the extent that I do. Hell, I have a massive chest tattoo of roses and a key because of this book. Because of what this book means to me. Because of what it made me. It's probably even responsible for my love of tea, to be entirely honest.

The second is ...a bit different, but still incredibly important to me. It's the game that shifted me from "someone who plays games" to "gamer", from "afraid of monsters" to "seeks out the things that go bump in the night", and from 'skeptical of fandom" to "has read over 4000 fanfictions in the last six months, written two, and recorded six podfics". 

Silent Hill.

I played Silent Hill for the first time in High School, a borrowed copy on my then-boyfriend's Playstation 2. I played it through all the way-- the first game I EVER beat by myself-- in less than a week, by myself, in the dark. I absolutely devoured this game, and the sequels (up through four. After that they got... bad.) It's a brilliant piece of work, the perfect survival horror game, perfectly blending puzzles with combat and twisted, brilliantly psychological plot. I love everything about it, even the admittedly rather shit graphics. This game is the reason I got into horror, but also the game that really made me a Gamer-- the first game that really took over my life, that was MY adventure, not just sitting in my brother's room watching HIM play. 

The fact that what finally got me to start reading fanfiction was the realization that there was Silent Hill fanfiction, the realization that I could spend more time in this brilliant twisted world... that certainly helps my opinion of it.